Day: April 1, 2017

Uncategorized

Saints Stage a One-Day Work Slowdown, by Holly Holyroller

The 34 Saints lining Sacred Hearts-St. Stephen’s Church in Carroll Gardens are planning a one-day work slowdown on April 1. The main reason cited is lack of appreciation from their devotees, despite listening to and interceding over countless prayer requests for them. Led by the ever-popular St. Anthony of Padua, the saints are in agreement that the only time they […]

Blue Pencil Lunar-Revue

Swinging in the Rain, by Thee Thaw

Mr. Tim Vetter, Assistant Principal at Summit Academy, usually ends his longer than average school days with a leisurely stroll through Coffey Park. “It gives me time to reflect and unwind. Some days can be tough. So, naturally, I gravitate towards the swings.” Mr. Vetter was clear that he would never make children wait their turn, and often gives up […]

Blue Pencil Lunar-Revue

magic in the g-rain terminal, by Lumbago DiStefano

In recent years, Red Hook’s G-Rain Terminal has been the target of trespassing. Extensive measures were taken by Mr. Q, who requested that his name not be used in the “slander about on that rag of a publication you produce,” to keep people off his land. He-Who-Does-Not-Wish-To-Be-Named (HWDNWTBN) added a concrete barrier to the entrance of the site. Trespassers without […]

Blue Pencil Lunar-Revue

City wants food trucks to go vertical, by Cummerband Cost

The Red Hook food trucks draw visitors from all corners of the borough and beyond. They boast some of the best reputations in the city. Every year, people cannot wait to wait in line for their favorite vendor treat. But in recent years, real estate in the neighborhood has become increasingly more valuable. This new economic boom has taken a […]

Blue Pencil Lunar-Revue

Betsy DeVos Visits Fairway? by Mark Penz

On Thursday, President Trump’s Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos, came to Red Hook with the intention of visiting local magnet school, PS 15. The school had prepared for her visit by arranging a tour and inviting top students to speak with DeVos, who never showed. “This is outrageous!” exclaimed Principal Peggy Wyns-Madison, who expressed disappointment at DeVos’ absence. “We put […]