New York’s liberal values are a particular point of pride for her residents (as they should be); “liberal” is part of the city’s character. For most of the country and arguably much of the world, New York City is the place to be your fantasy self, or true self… maybe.
Most people (transplant and not) meld their identities to the vibrant nature of the city enough to be a New Yorker – rent, ethnic diversity, MTA delays, sexual freedom, bodega cats. Anything is possible here and we love that about our city – mosaics of subcultures within subcultures.
Yet NYC is also a very cozy home to complicit culture, social blind spots and hashtag-deep social awareness – yes, I said it. Minimally vetted satisfactions with inclusivity and multi-whatevers allow many in the big apple to be ignorant of their own biases, prejudices and the work to be done… in New York, not just the Bible Belt.
When I first came to NY, I arrived in Chinatown from Georgia, on the ChinaBus. You couldn’t tell me I wasn’t the main character in a coming-of-age film – this city rushes and glows day and night. NYC took me out, got me drunk, gave me dollar pizza and sent me home at 5:00 am in a Lyft, or on the subway (depending on my level of broke).
At the end of June 2019, on World Pride weekend, I walked with a couple of friends in the Village by Christopher Street. Outside the historic Stonewall bar was a scattered crowd of partygoers. My friends stopped to take a picture of the bright red sign that read “Stonewall.” However, a shirtless man stood blocking the iconic sign, and behind him was his buddy, vomiting (oh New York).
They politely asked the gentleman if he could step aside. What was supposed to be a moment of Instagrammable LGBTQ awareness turned into an unfortunate misunderstanding. The gentleman thought they were trying to take videos or pictures of his friend – they tried to explain.
I hadn’t said much, then he (the gentleman) turned aggressive, especially towards me. Let me paint the picture as vividly as possible. I, Roderick Thomas, am black (not ambiguous); my friends are two men, one Southern European-looking (stereotypically speaking) or ambiguous Puerto Rican-American and the other a tall, slender African-American man (not ambiguous). The now aggressive and shirtless gentleman is white.
I saw the way this enraged man looked at me. I’ve seen that look before. If I’d been in that bar with him hours ago, I may have been an object of sexual desire, but now, I’m the target. “I’ll headbutt you,” he said, darting his eyes at me and then to my friends as we walked away. As he and his stumbling pal were leaving, he screamed, “Go back to Africa!” This is not an anomalous incident for NYC.
On World Pride weekend we’re in front of the historic Stonewall, a place where black transwomen fought for LGBTQ freedoms; you’re a white queer man, standing in front of your barfing friend who is of East Asian descent, yelling at two black American queer men to “go back to Africa!” The irony, toxic masculinity and racism jumped out that night.
I remember the first time I was called a nigga in the workplace. While in front of eight or nine company partners, my boss at the time says to me, “speak up nigga” as I tried to get the attention of the room, I felt like my soul had left my body. I called my mom the next day in anger and tears, “it is 2017 and I still have to shuck and jive!” This didn’t happen in North Carolina or Texas, this is NYC.
Eric Garner, The Central Park (and Exonerated) Five, Trump – this is all part of liberal NYC.
The same man, who yelled at me, “Go back to Africa!”, is probably patting himself on the back for “protecting” his Asian friend. He probably doesn’t see color, most days.
None of what I’m saying is to discredit this city and the many social freedoms it offers. The point is, when we see Donald Trump and supporters spewing racist rhetoric, like the recent “Send Her Back!” or previous “Bad Hombre,” let’s remember, he came from New York. If our beloved, free city produces him and those like him, understand what we’re up against as a society. We aren’t battling Trump, we’re battling our collective mindset.
A lot of New York liberal culture feels like getting a B-plus in an Intro to Equality course, but acting like you just ended apartheid. We need to stop patting ourselves on the back for doing the moral minimum. We need to stop saying, “This isn’t the America I know.” Where have you been then? This is America, good and bad. We need to face ourselves with honesty, deep and heavy honesty. I think the standard has to be elevated. You’re not Coretta Scott King, or Bayard Rustin because you are on a subway next to someone different from you and managed not to explode.
Our society needs more empathy. What if that were me, if it were my daughter, or son he wanted to grab by the genitalia? We need to be brave about confronting all of who we are, and not glossing over the realities and complexities of inequality and ethics because it is too hard to truly think about.
